As mothers it is in our nature to put our children first above anyone else especially ourselves. We carry our children for what seems like an eternity and then once we have them our alone time is poof GONE. Like what happened? One day I’m minding my own business and then the next day this little human just rudely interrupts my day and took over my life lol. Join me as I explain why we should all practice to get better at being self care moms.
We let go…
So what happens when they are born? We let go. Now I don’t mean let go as you don’t wear makeup, your hair is a hot mess and you wear sweat pants all day. That’s not letting go that’s just straight out comfortable and my kind of Friday night. What I mean is that we stop taking care of ourselves, we don’t self care anymore. Now at the beginning newborns need a lot of attention for obvious reasons, they cant feed themselves yet people be patient. However it is at this early stage that we need to start practicing self care. You know why? Because if you don’t this turns into a routine. Their first year goes by, then the next and the next. You will be so consumed with this little human making sure he or she has their needs met that you will totally disregard your own.
We were once our own person…
I love my children more than life itself and I’m sure you love yours as well and want what’s best for them. But we also need to remember that we were not born as mothers. We were once our own person caring for us. Would you work day in and day out for years on end with no break? No you shouldn’t because our bodies and minds were not build for that. We need a mental and physical break from our normal routine to reset us. You don’t necessarily need to go on a luxurious vacation. I have put together this post on why staycations are a good idea. Don’t worry it will open in a new window so you wont lose your place on this post.
So what is self care?
Self care is caring for yourself mentally, emotionally and physically. This is the time that you take to not worry about the kids, husband, chores, bills etc. Its a time for you to distress. Learning how to self care will keep us sane to continue being happy moms raising healthy, loving, and well rounded children. It will makes us better at parenting and be a better spouse.
It has taken me a long time to realize that it was ok to do things for me and for my own pleasure. Although I still struggle with it, I try to practice some level of self care whenever I can. I have been a mom for 14 years, and I can honestly say I never even thought about self care until recently. My “job duties” as a mom have always been clear. To love and raise my children to the best of my ability. Most of the time I’m feeling tired, restless and running on fumes. This is one of the reasons why I looked into self care and realize how important it is and how much it helps. Everyone benefits from self care. When mommy is happy the household is happy…just saying.
I never practiced self care before because I never had the “time” and thought of “self care moms” as being selfish. Once I realized that there’s nothing selfish about trying to be a better version of myself for my kids and husband things got easier to do. Like how could I just sit here and enjoy my cup of coffee knowing that my kids will wake up soon and will be “starving” like they put it. Shouldn’t I be cooking breakfast for them? Uh no! Im going to sit here and enojoy my cup of joe while everyone is asleep. That is what I like to do on early Saturday mornings. I tend to naturally wake up “early” or at least earlier than my Monday through Friday schedule. Those 30-45 minutes to myself are golden. That’s my time. My time to clear my mind before I tackle the weekend.
It’s a Win win
By doing this simple little gesture to myself, I am more than happy to cook breakfast. I am not just doing it because I have to do it but because I’ve looked after myself that morning and have the energy to want to do it. Everyone wins in this real life scenario.
Now that’s just one small example of how I practice self care without even leaving my house. No one can tell you how to do it. There is no right or wrong way to self care. Everyone is different. We all have our own struggles and ways to cope with them.
What I would like for you to take from all of this is that yes we are moms and yes our kids need us. But they also deserve a mom that’s not running around like a chicken with it’s head cut off.
Your children deserve the best version of you.
What kinds of things do you do for yourself? When was the last time you actually had some “me” time?